Oh, and N.

And S.

WARNING: "Kids These Days" Rant to follow.

In 1961, Barry Mann had a hit with a song that thanked doo-wop songwriters for their ability to set the mood for love:

Who Put the Bomp
by Barry Mann

Who put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?
Who put the ram
In the rama lama ding dong?
Who put the bop
In the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
Who put the dip
In the dip da dip da dip?
Who was that man?
I'd like to shake his hand
He made my baby
Fall in love with me (yeah!!)

Over the holiday, I helped my nephew load music onto his new iPod Shuffle. I previewed some of the music. I was shocked, I tell you, shocked to hear what the kids are listening to.

OK, not really shocked. But it put back into my brain again how much uninspired, purely-for-shock-value dreck is out there, in the mainstream. What would Mr. Mann pen today?

Who Put D*ck

by Barry Mann

Who put the d*ck in the Baby, s*ck ** d***
Who put the f*** in the f*** the f*** the f***
In the ho in the pimp my ho da ho
Who put the f*** in the d*** a f*** a s***
Who was that man?
I'd like to f*** his ****
He f*** my n*****
s*** the f*** to f*** (s***!)

I know I sound like a prude (which, I believe, is a rude prune).
But where is there any value in a young man shouting that he's going to "F a N up"?


I know:
If it's to loud, you're too old.

But it's not the volume.
It's the f****** s*** n**** a*q* **zz* f***.


eric j. sherman said...

Well, at least his parents are monitoring their child's listening choices. I'm certain they put good, hard earned money down to purchase those songs and made deliberate choices with that young, impressionable mind.

And you assisting him to put it on his own personal little pipeline to his brain, earbuds and all, so that any little morsel of goodness someone wants to send to him, he can listen to in his own private, little world; no cassettes or cds to approve or stumble across while cleaning up his room, thank God!

Who knows, maybe he might even read this post and be so moved to understand the utter smurfness of language and the anger that goes into so much of the music he listens to and then... then he'll know someone is really taking an interest in his life; then he'll know someone f******* cares.

ACoolKid said...

This post makes me wonder where all the footnotes are at***

*** I mean, really...


Giertie said...

Being a stay-at-home-mom, I know I have lost my edge and sometimes it takes me longer to "get" the meaning of your incredible wit. So, after staying up all night wrestling with this post...I will just admit it. I don't get your links.

Does the connection between f*** and an accident repair network have to do with language issues that occur at the moment of impact?

And I have never seen the movie Survival of the Illest...is it imparitive to understand dreck, or can I just read a review.

Now Mr. Tickle, Mr Happy and Mr. Bump are more my speed...did Mr Mann create them? It does seem possible with his lyrical genius...bah bomp bah bomp...rama lama ding dong...Mr. Nosey. Okay, maybe I do get that one.

Eric "Babe" Morse said...

Haven't been good about commenting on comments lately...

Frank: amen, brother. Thanks. Smurfin' A.

ACK! I thought about em dashes, or comic-book-style random %$@#s, but "asterisk" has "ass" in it, so I think it's a pretty subversive little mark...

Giertie: It pleases me that you followed my crazy links. It started with Mr. Men, and kind of snowballed into silliness.

Papotine said...

Snowballed into silliness, hey ?
I like the expression... and another one too : "I previewed the music" : you mean you preheard it ?
English language is fascinating when you live in froggyland.