Vacation Dispatch One
Cougar Sighting

During the last few weeks away from the computer, I've amassed literally days of material for this blog, which will be meted out in small posts over the next year or so. Enjoy.

At the national park we recently visited, there was a sign warning us that we were in a cougar habitat, and that at any time one could pop up and eat our dog or child. It told us what to do if this happened ("throw sticks", "spread arms wide to appear bigger"), so it was cool.
That night, I had this dream:

The Dream I Had About The Cougar
by E"B"M

I was walking along the beach last night, and a cougar walked up to me.
"Hey," I said. "Must be a pain having all us tourists messin' up your place like we do."
"Well," he said. "I was born in a small town, so you know it hurts so good."
"Hey..." I said. "You're John Cougar! What are you doing in Empire, Michigan?"
"Same as you, man. Just ate me a couple toddlers, and now it's back to the campground where they grow all the honeydew and watermelons. You know, the Melon Camp."


ACoolKid said...

You even dream in puns?

That has to be exhausting! If this turns into a recurring dream, can you see if he'll go back in time and finish off Kim Bauer?

Eric "Babe" Morse said...

Thanks, dude. There's $300 spent on hypnosis down the drain. I'd had Kim blocked from my memory, and your mention made me Google her, which caused a flood of painful memories to come pouring back.

stella estrella said...

ACK!! I just choked on my candy corn. I love your sense of humor. "the Mellon camp"....HAHAHA