Quoth the Ravin'

OK, people.
Quotation marks have a number of important uses.

They let you know you're reading exactly what a person said.
"You never know what your history is going to be like until long after you're gone."
—George Bush

They let you know you're reading the title of a short work.
Ambrose Bierce's "My Favourite Murder" was not made into a Diagnosis Murder episode.

They let you know the writer finds a term wack, skeptical, off-the-mark.
"Stars Are Blind" is the new single from model, "actress" and "singer" Paris Hilton.

And now, a reminder:
Quotation marks do not get used around portions of prepositional phrases. This is just crazy.
Last week, it was GOLD "BY THE" INCH at the fair. Today, from outside Silver Lake State Park, it's


Pardon my French, but what the crap, people? What is it about quotation marks that freaks us out so? Why do we feel the need to wrap random words in quotes? I've mentioned this before, but I must remind everyone that there are only so many of each character to go around. If we continue to make giant signs that say everything is "half" off (I go in the store, and everything is actually 25% off, and the lady does the air-quotes thing and says ""half" off... so not really! Get it? Hahaha!") and sides of buildings that advertise "TV's" "VCR's" "RADIO'S" "GREAT DEALS" "OPEN DAILY" we are going to run out. Then where will we be? Imagine this hellish scenario:

I was just reading The Purloined Letter, and I thought it was quite good.
You were reading a Purloined Letter? You thief! Give it back!
One can't run about purloining things, even if they are a good read. I'm very disappointed!
I mean Poe's The Purloined Letter!
I don't care whose it was, Mr. Random-Article-Adder. Just take it the back!

If folks keep overusing quote marks, we may have to resort to other punctuation:

(*Mr. Heathcliff?}; I said.
A nod was the answer.
#8Mr. Lockwood, your new tenant, sir. I do myself the honour of calling as soon as possible after my arrival, to express the hope that I have not inconvenienced you by my perseverance in soliciting the occupation of Thrushcross Grange: I heard yesterday you had had some thoughts...

//Thrushcross Grange is my own, sir,®§ he interrupted, wincing. ☮ðI should not allow any one to inconvenience me, if I could hinder it - walk in!^^¾ ¿

No one wants this to happen. It's up to all of us to keep the overuse of the quotation to a minumum. Due vigilance, compadres.

"Never Give In. Never, Never, Nev^^¾ ¿
-Winston Churchill

1 comment:

ACoolKid said...

To these louts, I say "Nevermore!"