Driving today, I encountered construction. A large tar-making machine had spray painted on its rear a message, presumably aimed at me:
While I realize these were probably meant as two thoughts, or at least as subordinate clauses in need of punctuation, I read them in my head as one:* "GIT-R-DONE SLOW." And then, out loud to no one, I corrected their misuse of the adverb by saying: "LEE." I do this to people, too. Such sanctimoniousness must really irk some folks.
THEM: "Man, you do that quick."
ME: "Quickly. I do it quickly."
THEM: "So, anyway, the play was real good."
YOU: "The play was really..."
THEM: YEAH, I GET IT. SHUT UP THE H--- UP, POINDEXTER!
YOU: [Looking down, hurt puppy-dog eyes]
THEM: Hey, I'm sorry, don't take it personal."
Is there an Grammar Correctors Anonymous? Could we start one?
Or is there no shame in helping people along the path to proper speech? We should stand tall in our quest, rooting out improper usage and dragging it into the daylight!
OK, but see, here's the thing:
I don't want to get hit.
*I take the same tack when reading "SLOW CHILDREN." I say "Oh, poor things."