4.01.2006

Say Anything...

A local one-stop supermarket offers a photo lab, barber shop, tailor, and CPAs in addition to its groceries, TVs, clownfish and Lion Bars.
Walking in today, I noticed a banner for the tailor:

WE ALTER ANYTHING!

I inquired within.

Anything? Truly?

Sure, yes. You bring it in.

Like, how about time and space?

...

Or, what about endings? Because I just saw The Final Cut with Robin Williams and I really liked it, but the end came and I was like huh? I may have been dozing a bit, but it seemed really abrupt, and even though my wife explained what she thought happened, I still was like I don't know, if that's what they wanted me to get out of it, I don't think they set it up well enough, 'cause I missed it. So, can you alter that?

...!

OK, how about altars? I don't know if altars ever need altering, but I just thought that would be funny.

.

[walks to back of store. does not return.]

OK, then. Uh, thanks. I'll just, uh, head out to the rest of the store and get my sashimi.

My encounter left me with more questions than answers. Did the employee not speak English? What happened in the back room that she didn't return? Is she OK? Should I have checked on her, or alerted a manager? And I'm still unclear on what exactly they alter.

Hm. Tomorrow, I'm headed over to the car dealer. Apparently, if I can push, pull or drag anything to him, he's going to give me $2,000. I'm assuming day-old sashimi will qualify.

3 comments:

ACoolKid said...

This is obviously a taoist trick.

By just getting you to come over and ask the question, they altered both your space and time.

And I'm betting that if you watched the movie again, you'd see something you missed the first time, hence giving the ending a different meaning.

And altars don't need altering. They need offering.

They're tricky, I tell you. When the answers are in the question, our world has to be considered unstable.

Maybe you should consult the CPA next time...

dobbler21 said...

What about egos? Do they alter those?

Eric "Babe" Morse said...

ACK: Ta-Tao! Nice job on the heavy thinkin'.

Dobbler: heh.