I took my eight-year-old and five-year-old to the 3/8 mile paved oval track in the middle of the corn field down the way. We got to wear squishy dayglo earplugs, sit on a bleacher built during the Johnson administration, and eat hot dogs way after bedtime. Very fun.
During intermission, we checked out the "Souvenir Stand". To give you an idea of its appearance, I can tell you my five-year-old daughter's first question was:
"Is this a garage sale"?
It was quite the hodge-podge of merchandise. Some stuff from Oriental Trading Company for the kids (500% markup, natch), some Dale, Jr. wallets, some tin signs for the side of your garage that have the dixie flag and the words REDNECK BOULEVARD.
The one item that's stuck with me is the decal for your truck window that says:
THIS FORD EATS CHEVYS AND S***S OUT DODGES
Now, that's a statement that conjures an image. And it ain't pretty.
But more to the point, it just doesn't make sense. I'm not a science teacher. But we're led to believe that the guy's vehicle practices some magical alchemy that can change a vehicle it consumes into another make of vehicle?
OK, I get it.
But it still doesn't work for me.
Like, I think I'm led to believe that a Chevy is better than a Dodge.
But the Chevy turns into a Dodge when eaten and pooped.
So, in the end, I've got a Ford and a Dodge, and no Chevy.
I don't know what this means. I'm just thinkin' out loud.
Or, maybe, over-thinkin' out loud.
All I know is that it'd be more helpful if I had a car that instead of s******g Dodges, dodges s***.