But Wait... There's More!

The petrol station on the corner has a big poster for Zig Zag rolling papers. It lets me know that rolling my own cigarettes, I can

Save up to 50%... or more!

Now, come on.
I can save up to 50%. This is the limit of my savings. I could save as little as zero or 1%, if I were a really bad roller, or licker, or whatever else is involved. But if I were pumping on all cylinders, perfectly rolling, licking, and whatever else is involved I could save up to 50%!

Or more!

So.. how much more? Up to 60%? 90%? 51%? You can't set a limit, then say I can go higher. Not going higher is a part of the definition of limit.
I know. It sounds good. And it does. Wow, up to 50%! But, hey, maybe even more!

But, really. Figure out the most anyone would ever pay for cigs. Find the cheapest anyone would ever charge for Zig Zags and tobacco. Then, using some equation math people can figure out that will involve division, figure out what the best possible savings could ever be.
Then tell us.
There used to be a nail place in town. Its name, no lie:

Just Nails and More!

I love that. I wish it were still around so I could take a picture. Sigh. Started this whole blog thing too late...

Oh, yeah. I say petrol station now. It's something I'm doing.


Anonymous said...

That is really funny "eric" i think this is the equasion.
(read the letters between the numbers)

ACoolKid said...

I think they must be making these claims from an algebraic Limit sense. In this world, you could view 100% as the absolute most you could ever save. But in reality, if you have a portion of expense, and the smokes can never be free, then you have the theoretical limit on the savings.

Think of it like this: Say you're standing at one end of a gym, and I tell you to go halfway across the gym to the other side. Then, I tell you to go half the distance again. Then, I tell you to do it again. Eventually, you will get really close to the other side of the wall. But as long as there's an actual distance between you and the wall, a half of it will still be a distance.

Now, we know that your nose will eventually touch sweat-laden brick, but stick with me on the "theoretical" part, eh?

So I'm going to posit that those braniacs at the petrol house are trying out the stuff they've been tossing around since teacher explained Limits to them in Calculus. And I'm sticking to it.

So, sheesh, give 'em some credit.

And as for Just Nails and More, I think that was the result of a merger. I remember shopping at More when it was all by itself...

Idle Mind said...

Entertaining as usual. I wish I had something cool to say like the cool kid, but I'm lame (or maybe it's bacuase I only had 2 1/2 hours of sleep last night.. good thing I don't have school tomorrow!!!). Well how is your summer going? It looks to me like you have had plenty of free time. That's good news for your blog (and your readers). Have a nice day.

Eric "Babe" Morse said...

ACKid: don't remember More stores. But it all makes sense, now... thanks!

Amanda said...

I think I'm in love! I thought I was the only one driven nuts by stupid signs with grammatical errors. I'll be back!

Anonymous said...

Well according to the most recent study of the zigzagwrapinganonymous group and the equations club, the cheapest some one could ossibly pay for zigzags and tobacco combined with the expertise of the local tobacco wrapping technician, it would come out to be about $3.50 per 10 wrapped.

D said...

forgot my adress

Kelly said...

But what can I do about the iPod minis my paper wrote about last week? You know, the ones that have 4-6 GB hard drives and can hold up to 1,000-1,500 songs?

You can't really say they hold 1,000-1,500 songs, because if your taste in MP3s runs to 15-minute electronica remixes of "Ride the Lightning," your 4 GB mini will hold something like 275 songs.

And saying "The 4 GB model can hold up to 1,000 songs, while the 6 GB model can hold up to 1,500 songs" is just unwieldy, especially in the chartlike format we were using.

lamey said...

acoolkid: why is eric in a gym? and i disagree, you should never give these people credit - when it comes to signwriting, gramatical errors should not be tolerated!