6.07.2005

Feeling A Little Tense

A comment came my way recently as a friendly reminder:
Aren't you supposed to be railing against misuse of the subjunctive tense (SUB-TEN)? Whatever happened to SPASTIC?

Oh. Yeah. That.

Well, I wanted to make a nice sidebar on the right with a permanent link where anyone could post his or her latest subjunctive picks or pans. But I don't know how to do that, and I don't want to figure it out right now.
But here are a couple that have been in my head lately:

PICK: A song by Rooney that's been in my head, If It Were Up to Me. Yes, boys, yes. Simple, no? Sounds nice, yes? Yes.
A sample lyric:

'Cause our love (our love)
Is the best love (best love)
If it were up to me
Yes, our love (our love)
Oh, is real love
So just let it be


It really gets in your head. Love Rooney.

PAN: Grisham. I know, too easy a target. I just finished reading The Last Juror. It's from last year. I finally got around to reading it because it's about a guy who makes a ton of money running a small-town newspaper. I knew that was a sweet racket! Any-hoo, he pretty much ignores subjunctive mood completely. After a couple offenses, I decided to start dog-earing pages. It got ridiculous and I stopped.
Just a couple representative examples:

"Baggy leaned over as if it was time to whisper"
"If a valid arrest warrant was obtained..."

Now, one may be tempted to forgive the offenses, as the book is told in first person, and perhaps the narrator simply doesn't know any better. But on the same page as the "whisper" line, is this:

"...he was smiling a lot, as if he were really a nice kid..."

See? Very nice. As Rooney points out in If It Were Up To Me:

It's easy (easy)
It's easy (easy)
It's easy...