Give Ps A Chance

Welcome to our ool.
Notice there is no P in it.
Please keep it that way.
-hilarious sign that everyone whose grandma has a pool has seen.

What does it take to turn a "shop" into a "shoppe"?

We have a "Book Shoppe" in town. From what I can tell, they do not traffic in Old World literature, and they have no British bent. Some of their books are old, but like Harlequin circa 1980 old.

There is also an ice cream shoppe. I don't know why, but this sits a little better with me (is food more "shoppe"-friendly?). But even if it's a quaint Pleasantvillesque place, which it is not, I don't think it qualifies*. Is it a "shoppe" if it's from the '50s? The 1850s, maybe?

I buy "shoppe" when the establishment is legitimately dealing in old stuff... even if their product isn't of the "Ye Olde" era. Antique shoppes are a much nicer fit. Curiosity shoppes I can buy, as well. Wikipedia has an interesting bit about how the phrases "Ye Olde" and "Curiosity Shoppe" would never have co-existed, as they are taken from two different time periods.

But there's a Disc Golf Shoppe. Come on! Disc golf? It's been around, since, like, last Monday. You do NOT get to say "shoppe". This is a waste of two perfectly good letters.

And we need those letters!

Something not many people know is that there is a finite number of letters available for each piece of the alphabet. When they're all being used, we're out. Luckily, they can be recycled. When Boz Skaggs was really popular (August, 1982), there was a serious Z shortage. Things quickly evened out, until recently. Snoop Dogg is hogging most of the Zs out there right now. I've cut way back to conserve, only saying "swizzle stick" if I'm at a party and it's quite necessary.

Anyhow, these "shoppe" people are using up a lot of Ps and Es they don't need. Right now, there are brokers just waiting for a block to be freed so they can list current P/E ratios for their stocks. Instead of saying they have to pee, gradeschoolers are being forced to say crazy things like "Might I use the loo?" Come on, people!

There's a place called "Ye Olde Rocket Shoppe." Dudes...

Now, my two minutes of extensive research on this subject have shown me that folks in Canada and the UK seem to like to use "shoppe" even more than we do. Is this because you're from England ("you know, where history comes from?" -paraphrased Eddie Izzard), and you've earned the right to spell stuff like Geoff Chaucer? Do you spell it that way all the time? How do you choose?

As for me, I'm saving my Ps for a rainy day. Actually, I need to take one now.


M@ said...

Right on! Say it, brother!

Here's to those extra letters getting the choppe.

NickwithanS said...

I was just theinking this morning, and me thinking is never a good sign. If SPASTIC: doesn't work out, I was thinking of a pun on "Morse code". Since you are, after all, Eric Morse. Couldn't really come up with any snazzy ones.

Morse code for the illiterate?

Morse code for the abled?

Morse code for those with 5 extra minutes at home/work/home-office?

And it's one day late, but happy 07/06/05.

eric j. sherman said...

I feel like I was just lectured by Letter Man (Electric Co not World Wide Pants Co, mind you).

I am glad this is a bigger issue than switching letters, i.e., theater v. theatre, because I do prefer the latter based on the differences between a movie and a film.

Sloth said...

There is a place in Portland, Maine called "Ye Olde Pancake Shoppe."

It's a very scary place and I believe you can buy meth there. So it's all wrong in too many ways to count.

BP said...

Ye Olde Rocket Shoppe--clever enough to be acceptable, methinks. Besides, it's a niche shop, and how often do you get to say "niche"?

Eric "Babe" Morse said...

Pop quiz: do you say "nitch" like a normal person, or "neesh" like you're smarter than me or somethin'?

BP said...

-_- Um. The pretentious one. (Although I go lighter on the i than some.)