New Favorite Word: Bioretention

I was at a conference last week. The entire front of the conference center was torn up by construction of something called Bioretention facilities. Throughout the building were signs explaining the reason for the dust, all with BIORETENTION written as the large headline. As far as I can tell, it's a way to filter rainwater using environmentally-friendly, landscaped forms.

Well, "bioretention" is my new favorite word. As a teacher, it's a useful shorthand to explain the feeling you get on your no-plan day when lunch is overtaken by students doing makeup work, and you keep trying to head to the rest room, but something keeps interrupting.

"Mr. Morse? Are you OK? You seem awfully... um... tense?"

"It's fine, Charles. Just a touch of bioretention, is all..."

note: by far, the most popular post s on this blog are the ones on bathroom euphemisms.


DPO4: "The Office"

What should an employee of Dunder Mifflin keep in mind when going on a road trip?

A: Don't take Dwight's route.

(Not working for you? Say it out loud.
It may not make it funnier, but it will be louder.)

What's a pun obscurae?


Daily Pun Oscurae 3: Rap

I'm thinking of a kind of hip-hop Batman reinvention, kind of a Dark Night Remixed. The protagonist?

Lil' [Bruce] Wayne

And, of course, when he says in the pilot episode that "nobody do it better than that distance d***", we know he's talking about D*** Grayson.

What's a pun obscurae?


Pun-itory Damage

I've decided to start a series.
A daily series.
Do not laugh.
If this becomes daily like my podcast is weekly, you will see it about once a month.
We'll see. I'm keeping it simple, so maybe it'll work.
OK, so [drumroll] here it is:

The Daily Pun Obscurae

I realize the title would lead you to believe these are dark puns. But they're dark, as in "in the shadows". As in, if you're not hanging in this particular area of pop culture, these puns will make no sense. As in, if a title of a feature needs this much explanation, it's probably a crap title.

But, here's the thing. If you are into these things, I think the puns should be enjoyable. They will be bad, guaranteed. No knee-slappers in the bunch. Groaners, all. But I hope you can give props to someone who has these things in his head, then decides to share them, in the hopes that two people will see them and appreciate.

So, here we go. As I build a collection, maybe I'll try to organize them into categories. Play along. And check back tomorrow. Well, Monday.

Daily Pun Oscurae 2: Trek

(n): The novelization of the film Star Trek II.

Daily Pun Obscurae 1: Heroes

Q: Why did Niki Sanders purchase new kitchen countertops?

A: It was formica.